


Saudade

by KittyGamer



Series: Those in Control [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Curiosity, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Insert, Undertale Saves and Resets, hall with no judge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:31:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyGamer/pseuds/KittyGamer
Summary: A somewhat melancholic feeling of incompleteness.You never know what you have until it’s gone.





	Saudade

You weren’t sure what to think when Flowey didn’t fight, he just smiled and winked. What was so different about this run? You hadn’t decided what to do yet, this run was already so different. It wasn’t until Toriel made a passing mention of her friend not coming by lately. What was he doing? You waved goodbye to Toriel, well more like she told you to leave and she’d be fine. She had to take care of the flowers after all. 

Once out of the ruins the cold bit your skin. You somehow always forget how cold Snowdin is. You notice a blue jacket sticking out of the snow. You got close and noticed it wasn’t just his jacket, it was all his clothes. Your mind snickered at the fact that Sans might be running around naked. But for some reason, you couldn’t laugh or smile on the outside because you knew he would do that. No. Maybe there was another reason, but the bit of dust sprinkled around the discarded clothes told you everything you need to know. Sans was gone. 

You should have reset, go back and try to save him. You loved him didn’t you? Yet some form of curiosity wondered how this run would work. A gate with no greeting, a station with no sentry, a hotdog stand with no worker, a Hall with no Judge. This could be fun. You continue down the path to Snowdin. No branch snaps behind you. No one greets you when you reach the fence. You see Papyrus standing in front of Sans’ sentry station, “SANS, WHERE ARE YOU LAZY BONES?” Though his loud voice has a tone of impatience, you can hear worry laced throughout. Though Sans was lazy and never on time, he had a habit of showing up when you called for him. Not this time. 

“OH!” He noticed you, “HELLO THERE, SORRY I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE, I WAS LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER.” The tall skeleton glanced around, “H-HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?”

You shake your head, you didn’t want to tell him. The lie too easy to say. He seems distraught, but shakes his head and smiles at you. “HE’LL COME AROUND EVENTUALLY,” sure he will papy “I SHALL HELP YOU IN THE MEANTIME!”

You smile, and nod your head. You wonder if he realizes you're a human, or if he thinks you're some weird monster. It wouldn’t surprise you, most of these monsters have never seen a human before. He guides you to the town, you do all the puzzles, having to tell him about the orb at the electricity maze, and get promised spaghetti. You can’t help but notice how he seems less, energetic. His enthusiasm seems more forced. He must really be worried about Sans. 

You started to wonder, would anyone really notice besides Papyrus? Yes he was known, but you never really saw him talk about anyone as a close friend. Exception being Toriel, but they haven’t officially met yet. The people at Grillby’s would notice, they all knew him by name, but they don’t really know him. They know he frequents Grillby’s and makes puns. They know him because of repetition. All of Snowdin knows of him, being one of the only two skeletons in the underground. Everyone knows him, he’s a sentry, he makes bad puns, he loves his brother. But nobody in this town knows him. He keeps to himself. No one might even find his dust by the Ruins door. 

It hit you, the camera in the bush. Sans’ dust was close to the Ruins door, the camera must have saw. Alphys must have saw. You needed to move forward either way. You wave goodbye to Papyrus, he warns you about Undyne. He says he’ll try to talk to her so you can pass safely through. So he did know. He must have been too worried about Sans to try to catch you. You tell him you’ll be fine, and you’ll see him again soon.

You don’t know why you are being so nice, it’s not like you’ll keep this run. You could do Genocide, no Judge to stop you. The other might enjoy that, but they wouldn’t at the same time. Sans was always the last bit of EXP to get to LV 20. And by that point you already got every other monster you could. Excluding Asgore, but you never did land the last hit in him. 

Undyne was easy enough to get past. You had just watched her house burn down. You always found it oddly sad. Watching the fish like house cry whilst burning inside out. You often wondered if it was actually showing emotion or it was your imagination. 

It didn’t matter, Undyne gave a laugh and said she’d stay with the skeleton bros. Well her exact words were more along the line of hanging with Papyrus, as if Sans didn’t exist. Part of you wanted to go immediately to Hotland, but another part wanted to see Undyne's reaction to Sans being ‘missing’. The latter won. 

You trailed back to Snowdin just in time to see a minced expression in Undyne’s face and hear the end of Papyrus’ speech, “ -OURSE YOU MAY STAY WITH US, THOUGH MY BROTHER HAS NOT BEEN SEEN FOR SOMETIME NOW.” You couldn’t see Paps face, you are glad you can’t see it. You may be doing this out of morbid curiosity, but you never liked when Paps was sad. 

Undyne face was a mix between afraid and uncomfortable, “H-how long?”

“A WHILE…. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR A LONG WHILE. EVEN GRILLBY HASN'T SEEN HIM. MAYBE YOU CAN HELP FIND HIM!” 

“O-Of course Pap.” Seems you weren’t the only not wanting to tell Papyrus the truth after all. There was no way she wasn’t considering Sans being dust and the most likely being that. Undyne sent you a glance, you shrugged. She didn’t suspect you, at least for now. 

The walk to Hotland passes quickly, you’ve walked the path so many times before. You enter the lab and hit the light switch, you don’t feel like playing this game. Your curiosity burning, you walk up to the monitor. “H-hey!” Alphys screams as runs out. You ask her the simple question. 

“Do you know what happened to Sans?”

You see her flinch. She rubbed her hand together nervously, stuttering, as she explains what she saw on the cameras. Why she is too afraid to tell Papyrus, why she has yet to tell Undyne or anyone for that matter. You ask if she still had the footage. She gives you a weird look, then nods. 

You watch as the monitor displays Snowdin, the Ruins door. Sans comes into view, his eye sockets lidded, but you have a guess that even if the were more open you wouldn’t see his eye lights. He walks to the Ruins door and knocks.  
Once.  
Twice.  
He lets out a shaky sigh, his whole body tembeling. You see his smile strain, tears build up in his sockets.  
He summons his soul, the upside down heart barley brighter than the snow around it. Every moment it seems to get dimmer. You watch as his soul and bodys slowly dust, it’s different than when it was caused by your hand. This is slow, he’s given up. It starts at his hands and feet and slowly moves towards his body. All the while his face displays a smile, tears now slowly falling down his face. After a few moments, all that’s left is his clothes and a pile of dust. Sans had fallen down. Is that better or worse than what you originally thought? Is it better to fall down or to be dusted by your own hands? Is there a difference? A quiet sobbing near you brings you out of your thoughts. “I-I should t-tell someone….. b-but.” Alphys continues to sob, you place a gentle hand on her shoulder and give her some encouragement. You wouldn’t want to be the one to tell Papyrus. No ones would it seems.

You pass through Hotland with little problems, you get slightly annoyed that Sans isn’t around to sell Hotdogs, or Hotcats, whatever they were. No one seems to care though, they made a comment about it but nothing more. No one cares. Isn’t that a confidence booster?

You pass Mettaton and Alphys, straight to the castle. The streets of New home are busy, Monsters getting from one place to another. You never went down there, opting for the higher less crowded route to Asgore. You enter the Hall. The orange glow is empty. There is no speech about LOVE or love. Just you. 

You meet Asgore, he looks sadly at you. You know how this goes. The others, minus Sans, rush in. Then you know Flowey's attacks, if he’s trying you can't tell. Before you fully realize it, the barrier is broken, leaving you and the others. There is no meeting for Toriel and Sans. You watch Alyphs’ and Undyne’s unease as Papyrus mentions his brother.

Alphys breaks, telling him. Everyone seems sad now. Papyrus even now has a new weight on his shoulders. Your curiosity is filled. You could reset now and let Papyrus have his brother back. Would he even be around if you reset? Would his fall down again? He fell because of you. And for the first time in a while, you aren’t sure what will happen. You are uneasy about finding out.

A year passes on the surface, everything is fine. Everyone is happy, but they all know something is missing. Someone. They don’t remember the years they spent up here with Sans. They don’t remember the small skeleton coming and going when he please, leaving a joke behind. Papyrus enjoys himself, but you can tell he feels empty. It is all wrong. You miss him, more than you have before. That fact that you never had him in this timeline weights on you more than anything else. The worst part is that life moved on. That most didn’t care. They noticed yet never pinned down this empty feeling. The feeling of missing something they never really had. You rather him be here. You reset.

You rush through the Ruins as fast as you can. Ignoring Flowey and hugging Toriel tightly after your battle, pushing the heavy purple door. Though it had been over a year since you had seen where he feel, your eyes immediately look at the stop. No blue jacket lays there, no dust buried in the snow. You walk farther down the path, no branch snaps behind you. Worry fills you back up. Walking through the puzzles makes you feel even worse, you haven’t seen Papyrus yet.

Closer to Snowdin the taller skeleton appears, it's a welcome sight. You talk a bit and ask about his brother. He says something along the lines of ‘the lazybones is home resting’. You ask to go see him. Papyrus smiles and leads you the rest of the way. Papyrus says he has to continue his rounds and wishes you luck as you walk into the house. Sans is laying on the couch, a blanket draped over him. 

You walk up. He stirs and his eyes slowly open. His eyelights don’t appear but you know he’s looking at you. You begin to speak, but he shushes you. He pushes himself up and pats the spot next to him. You reluctantly climb up next to him. Without any warning you wrap your arms around him. What happened next didn’t matter to you. He was alive and he was here. And you would help him see the stars again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you got something out of this ‘What if Sanrio’  
> It was fun to write for the most part. Thanks for reading.  
> If you think I should add any tags please tell me!


End file.
